Last Updated on June 4, 2023
Nearly everyone projects, without actually realizing they do it. You’ve probably been hurt in the past by others who projected their insecurities onto you. And, likewise, you’ve unconsciously done the same to others.
With that being said, if you learn and truly understand what psychological projection means and what causes this behavior, you can save yourself from much pain caused by others. Not to mention, it can help you better understand yourself and your defense mechanisms.
In this post, you’ll learn the psychological projection definition and what causes this vicious behavior. We will also cover the most widespread forms of projection through relatable examples and go deeper into projection in relationships. Lastly, you’ll discover how to respond to psychological projection.
What Is Projection In Psychology?
Psychologic projection is a defense mechanism that we use to deal with unwanted emotions or traits by attributing them to others. So, to avoid being identified with those unacceptable feelings or traits, our defense mechanism is to defend ourselves by attributing them to others. We unconsciously find in others what we cannot accept with ourselves. By doing that, we get to address the unwanted trait without acknowledging it in ourselves.
“The most dangerous psychological mistake is the projection of the shadow on to others; this is the root of almost all conflicts.” – Carl Jung
What Causes Psychological Projection?
We tend to project because our unwanted traits or feelings are too hard to acknowledge. Insecurity plays a huge role in people who often project onto others. So, projecting their insecurities onto others helps them preserve their self-esteem, and it gets easier to deal with their emotions.
The people who project the most are the ones who do not know themself very well. The more you know yourself, the easier it is to notice unhealthy patterns in your life, including when you project your insecurities onto others. Not to mention, by accepting your insecurities and flaws, you’ll not have the need to project!
When we project onto other people, we basically treat others how we would have treated ourselves if we didn’t project. In other words, we are to others how we really feel about ourselves.
Projection is also commonly used among abusers, including narcissists. They constantly shift the blame, and it’s always “your fault, not mine.” If you think you might have a narcissist in your life, I recommend you to check out my previous post on Signs of Narcissistic Abuse & How to Recover!
Psychological Projection Examples
Psychological projection can take form in many ways. And, as I mentioned before, most people are unaware of when they project themselves onto others.
However, some specific ways of projection keep happening over and over again in today’s society. You’ll probably have had some of these things happen to you, or maybe you have done it to someone yourself!
Below are three relatable examples of psychological projection:
Bullying – Bullying is a classic example of psychological projection. A bully may be feeling so vulnerable or insecure that they cannot deal with it, so they project their own unwanted feelings over to the victim.
Victim Blaming – Victim blaming is when the victim of someone else’s poor actions becomes criticized. They theorize that it was the victim’s own fault that the unfortunate happening occurred to them. So, by projecting the experience of weakness or vulnerability, the psyche aims to rid itself of those feelings and avoids conflicts with their ego.
Body Shaming – Criticizing another person’s body or traits is something we have all done and is a form of psychological projection. As mentioned before, insecure people are those who tend to project the most because they are the ones who are struggling the most with unwanted features about themselves. So when people body shame, it actually shows that they have deeper underlying body-image issues.
Psychological Projection In Relationships Examples
Psychological projection in relationships happens all the time. And, it doesn’t necessarily have to occur in the form of projecting in an argument.
When you are in a relationship and hurting, it’s so easy to blame the other person. However, most likely, the partner has nothing to do with that pain you are feeling. The pain you are feeling is usually triggered by daily events. And are caused by unresolved issues from our past, including childhood wounds and disappointments from previous relationships. But, since your partner is always there, you figure, they must be the problem.
You might be accusing your partner of being judgemental but not realizing that you’re the judgemental one. Or, let’s take the classic example of a person who is having an affair that fears their partner is planning or actually cheating on them.
This vicious cycle of projection keeps you from truly getting to the root of your problems. And, before you get to the source of your old wounds, it can be hard to end the cycle of projection. That’s why developing self-awareness, practicing shadow work, and starting your healing process are necessary.
To learn how I recommend you check out my previous posts on:
- How to Heal Your Inner Child
- How to Heal From Trauma
- How to Heal Yourself Emotionally
- What Is Shadow Work and How to Do It
Signs Someone Is Projecting Feelings
Below are some signs of someone who is projecting feelings or unwanted traits.
- Feeling overly defensive, sensitive, and hurt over things that others have said or done.
- Being quick to react and blame.
- Can only see things from their own perspective.
- Must have the last word in an argument.
- Experience strong emotional reactions around certain topics.
- Struggles with low self-esteem and self-worth.
How to Respond to Someone Who Is Projecting
It’s easy to get hurt when someone projects onto you, but what’s important to remember is that this is a reflection of them, not you!
If someone is projecting onto you, take a step back and avoid arguing or defending yourself. The best thing you can say is something similar to “I understand you, but that is not how I see it.” If you begin to agree, argue, scream, cry, attack back, or even discuss, the person who is projecting gets what they want, and that is to focus on what you are doing rather than on themselves. Not to mention, it creates a false reality for the person who is projecting.
Keep in mind that the worse the person who projects feels about themselves and what they have done, the more attacking they can be. So, if the person persists and keeps attacking you, tell them: “I see we disagree,” and leave the conversation.
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What types of projection have you experienced? Let me know in the comments below!
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Hello, my name is Sara and I am the founder of Spiritvibez, I’m here to guide you on your spiritual journey toward healing, growth, and self-discovery. I believe that true transformation occurs when the mind, body, and spirit are aligned and working in harmony. Through Spiritvibez, I hope to inspire and empower you to deepen your spiritual practice, embrace your authentic self, and begin living your best life.
After reading your post I realised that my partner might be projecting his insecurities on me. Quite helpful. Thanks for sharing.
I’m happy you found the post helpful. Learning that your partner might be projecting his insecurities onto you gives you a lot of insight, and you’ll probably not feel as hurt when he does it the next time. As long as it’s not happening all the time, then it’s time to make some changes…
That’s a powerful way to respond to someone else’s projection. I have gotten very good at leaving conversations by simply not replying… but I like this response better!
Just leaving the conversation is also a great way to clearly make the person who is projecting understand that you are not interested in listening to them when they behave the way they do!