Last Updated on March 9, 2024
Figuring out how to forgive someone who did you wrong is not easy. Its a lot of different factors that must be considered. And, often, we think we have forgiven someone, but in reality, we keep holding a grudge against them.
However, holding a grudge will only cause you more harm. You will end up stressed about the situation, which not only affects your mental health but can also cause more serious health problems. Therefore, it is necessary to learn how to stop holding grudges, and truly forgive.
In this article, you’ll discover how to forgive and stop holding grudges!
See also: How to forgive yourself for past mistakes
How to Forgive Others?
To be able to forgive someone who hurt you, it’s important to find the root cause of your grudge. You can only find a solution after you’ve realized the problem.
Sometimes you may discover that you were only overreacting and held a grudge over such a minor thing. Once you find the main problem, you can settle on a decision and move forward with it.
6 Steps on How to Forgive
Below are 6 steps on how to forgive someone who hurt you:
1. Try to Understand
You cannot forgive someone until you fully understand what happened. Try to figure out how they hurt you and why you reacted how you did.
It’s okay to feel upset, sad, hurt, etc. This is actually an important part of the healing process. You have to be able to feel those painful feelings to start healing.
2. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Learning an important lesson or deepening your understanding can help you let go of the issue without despising those who wronged you.
Sometimes, when people do bad things to us, we might judge them too quickly. Instead, try to put yourself in their shoes, and you may better understand why they did what they did.
This doesn’t mean that you approve of their actions, but it will help you understand them. The more you understand their intentions, the easier it is to forgive them.
3. Take Responsibility
Take responsibility for the situation by understanding that you are responsible for what you are experiencing. This doesn’t mean you choose all the experiences you encounter, but that you own them.
If you take responsibility for the situation that means you at least take responsibility for learning or removing it.
4. Look for the Positive Sides
There are always both positive and negative sides to everything in life. Instead of getting upset at the whole situation, try to treat it as an invaluable lesson for you.
See also: How to develop a positive mindset
5. Confront the Other Person
There is always a possibility that the grudge was a result of a misunderstanding. Clarify your feelings about the issue without prejudice.
The best thing would be to reach out to the other person to talk about it and come up with a solution. Wait until you calm down, and then confront the other part in a non-judgmental and calm way. This will help you get rid of all the tension built up in your body and hopefully lead to a solution for the issue.
6. Forgive and Let Go
Decide to be the bigger person and forgive them. Stop dwelling over what happened in the past and let it go.
By forgiving them, you promise not to bring up the issue again or use it against them. If you want to discuss how they hurt you with someone, make sure you go to a professional or wise person you can trust.
Forgiveness Is for You
Forgiveness does not mean that you will forget the whole incident. It simply means that you have accepted your disparity and acknowledged that we all can make mistakes.
Forgiving is not easy, but it is definitely worth it because then you can finally take a load off your heart and feel at peace.
See also: 50 quotes on the healing power of forgiveness
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Hello, my name is Sara and I am the founder of Spiritvibez, I’m here to guide you on your spiritual journey toward healing, growth, and self-discovery. I believe that true transformation occurs when the mind, body, and spirit are aligned and working in harmony. Through Spiritvibez, I hope to inspire and empower you to deepen your spiritual practice, embrace your authentic self, and begin living your best life.
I’ve set the prisoner free .That was me Forgiveness was the key to opening that door.Feeling Free from my resentments .Thanks kindly for the read thoroughly enjoyed that..Spunky Spirit 🧚♀️🕉💜🙏💯
I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the article, and that you figured out that forgiveness frees you from your resentment❤️
Fhi I’ve started trauma therapy for the last few months and and have been suffering for a long time. From sexual abuse from older brother for years and tell my mother and she never stopped it or ever asked me again if I was OK. This made me fell worthless, unloved and very scared every night. I have I first child at 16 second by 18 than divorced. Married a narcissist for 30 yrs had breakdown he left 6 months after hospitalization. Since my mental illness my family have left me because my mother bought a home for my adult daughter and my self which did not work out my daughter wasn’t going to share house with me so she changed locks and kicked me out . I had nowhere to go basic homeless living in my car. My mother did not have my back again. So I have had to stay away from them because of triggers. I don’t know if I can ever forgive. My daughter disowned me 4 yr ago and no contact with my grandchildren. It’s a living he’ll. Sorry had to let this off my mine. Thank you for listening
I am so sorry to hear about all of the trauma and pain you have endured throughout your life. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to seek help and start trauma therapy, and I am glad you are taking steps toward healing. Please know that you are not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through your healing journey. Keep reaching out for help and support, and continue to prioritize your own well-being and healing. Much love Sara!